I recently read an article that inspired me to share a perspective with you. The article described how critics, such as movie critics, book reviewers, sport fans, and business analyst castigate their intended target, while in reality they have never made a movie, written a book, played a sport, or lead a company/team. The article did not discount their perspective, but rather identified the inherent fallacy of criticizing others shortcomings when they would not dare to try and do those things themselves.
This can be directly tied to our personal lives and careers and how while trying to add value, grow and develop, and pursue our personal and career aspirations we may end up on the seat as a critic passing judgement on a business or people, or worse telling ourselves stories on how people got those positions doing what we may see as a shortcoming. I’ve been caught in this trap and it takes some internal reflection and pause to derive a deeper understanding and acceptance.
Sometimes decisions are made that seem illogical and shortsighted to us, especially when emotions get the best of us (we are humans after all), we accept them begrudgingly and at times we may take it upon ourselves to analyze the decision and tell ourselves how we would have handled it differently. Sometimes, we are the subject of that criticism and judgement by others, and although the criticism may not come directly, you hear through the grapevine what other people are saying about you and/or your decisions. We have all been there at some point or another…I know I have. However, I have learned that it is best to withhold judgement and not pass criticism on things where I am not an expert on or have experienced with. Why? Because I do not know what it has taken to get to the decision, to the position, to the conclusion, and to the pinnacle of achievement that a person has achieved. I find it best to learn from them, to understand their path so that in turn I can revisit what I learn and apply it to my own decision making and growth path.
Our work is complex and difficult, add to it the complexity of working with a diverse team full of diverse perspectives and experiences, and you have quite the challenge to overcome. What helps me navigate through it all is to have some empathy for our fellow human. To pause and listen to what is being said, to understand that their perspective will be different than mine, and it is my job to understand it, internalize it, and use it to come to a better decision or outcome. When I am the subject of the judgement or criticism, I pause and try to keep my mind from telling me stories. I focus on the fact that there is always optics associated with what is being said about me or my decisions, but in the end I am the one that knows what it took to arrive there. I know the journey, I know who was at my side to get me through the struggles, I was the one dealing with work and family stress, I was the one staying late working on the high visibility project, and I was the one who has to deal with whatever comes from the decision.
You see it is very easy to pass judgement, to be the critic, to downplay someone else’s success or business decision, because it would not be what you would do. The reality is this, we are not in their shoes, and worse off we may have never been in that position to pass judgement. When we pass judgment on people it comes from an spectator perspective, we are not in the arena kicking butt or getting our tails beat. In times where I find myself thinking about passing judgement, I remind myself of the following Theodore Roosevelt’s quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly …and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
I encourage all of us to not just be spectators, but be in each other’s corners when one of us is in the arena. Better yet, get into the arena and fight the good fight. Provide the encouragement, seek understanding and growth, for it is in doing so that we become better together.
