It is something most of us take for granted, we purchase something and it undoubtedly comes with instructions. No matter how simple it may be, instructions will be provided in written form, pictorially, and now even in Augmented Reality. But as some wives would agree, for the typical male the instructions are just another piece of paper discarded with the “extra” part that came with the products we purchased.
I tell you what does not come with instructions though and perhaps it is the most complicated thing you will have to put together….LIFE.
Today I will touch on a very special occasion defining the very day of this blog post. The birth of my sons. No they are not twins, far from it...they look different, they act different, and they have their own personality. They, however, share the same birthday exactly five years apart and it is perhaps why they share a strong bond with each other.
On July 10, 2005, my wife and I welcomed our first son; he was early and surprised us with his arrival. As any parent will tell you, it was an unforgettable experience to welcome your child into this world. For those brief hours your mind is racing with anticipation and your wive’s mind is racing with making the pain stop…dad’s have it easy, but I digress. Those hours of elation turn into an indescribable happiness upon arrival of your child, your whole life just changed at the blink of an eye. You are no longer selfishly looking out for numero uno, but you are now selflessly committing to protect and love this child for as along as you live. Then reality sits in, you will be taking this newborn home, away from the expert hands of nurses and doctors, and you will be responsible everything from that day forward. And just like that they clean everyone up, make sure they are healthy and sound, and off you go to your home to raise a child…no instructions are provided!
At first, you may be asking how is this so! How can I get instruction on everything I purchased, but here is a human being and I have nothing, not event a pictorial of putting the pieces together, or even a pictorial on how to make that burrito wrap you have to swaddle them in. Fear sits in and your mind starts racing, how I’m I ever going to be able to watch over this child, will they be ok when I put them to sleep, how is he going to eat, is he gaining enough weight, what if he decides to go to the bathroom when I take his diaper off…so much to think about and you guess it, nothing, zero, nada, zilch instructions provided.
I was just getting the hang of things when Bam! Five years later, on July 10, 2010 our second son arrived. All those emotions came flooding back, all those experiences flashed through my eyes and for a second I felt a level of confidence that this was not my first rodeo and we had this, we could do this again! Then, in a blink of an eye everything changed…what seemed like a normal delivery turned bad just a couple hours after delivery. What transpired immediately after would change everything for us, ICUs, surgeries, a police chase ending with the pursued car crashing into our home; it was a perfect storm of events that we had not considered or planned for. No instructions on how to handle all of it…but we made it through and we are better off from the experiences.
I share this initial experience of Life with no instructions because raising kids is hard work and no parent does it the same. We tend to think that there may be solutions to doing so, there is even a multi-billion dollar industry on books claiming to help parents, but reality is this…Life is complicated and everyone of us creates our own book, filled with chapters no one else has written. There may be similar experiences, but never the same playbook or outcome of what you have experience.
Our boys have filled our life with so much joy, have challenged us as parents, and have given us hope that perhaps we are doing an OK job. As parents, we try to instill in them our values and foundational spiritual beliefs with the hopes that they will embrace them and in time make sound decisions. However, the reality of it all is that there is no instructions for that either. In time, they will make their own decisions, they will learn from their mistakes, and they will be better because of them. As parents we tried to do everything possible to make sure they do not get hurt, physically and emotionally, they are part of us and as previously mentioned they changed our world and we want nothing for the best for them.
I pray that they become model citizens, they become a person of value, and that they become successful in their own vision of success. We have a lot more milestones to celebrate with them, but today I celebrate the gift they have given me and Tammy. That being the gift of parenthood and to view life through a different lens, to always be mindful of what is like to be a child, to always be mindful of the sparks of knowledge that they gain through experiences, and to remain humble as a parent because we do not have all the answers. We have been fortunate to have amazing counsel from our parents, and family, but in the end you are holding the pen and you are writing your own story. There are no instructions for life, but one thing is for certain, we have always remained hopeful, we have always appreciated our failures and successes, and we have always looked up to the sky with praise for the blessings we have received. Two of those blessings are celebrating their birthday today and that is a gift any parent will cherish through eternity. May their chapters be filled with memories worthy of sharing with their children’s children.
Happy Birthday Boys!!
